MORE EVIDENCE THAT THIS WORLD IS POPULATED
BY COMPLETE IDIOTS
1.Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old
man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
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2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his
49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced
shooting beer cans off each other's head.
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3. A company trying to continue its five-year
perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of
safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction
of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor
injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and
one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while
watching the film.
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4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted
a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city
limits.
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5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a
car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians
had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
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6. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored
13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript
to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when
a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
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7. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC,
then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch,
he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police
officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in
a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
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8. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated
a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to
a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier,
and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling
the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
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9. When two service station attendants in Ionia,
Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened
to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was
arrested.
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10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired
of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer
stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
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11. An award should go to the United Airlines
gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted
with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo: During the final days at
Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent
was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger
pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said,
"I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent
replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to
help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him
could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without hesitating, the gate
agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention
please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have
a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him
find his identity, please come to the gate." With the folks in line behind
him laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth
and swore "F*** you." Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm
sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that too." The man retreated
as the people in the terminal applauded loudly.
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From: Thom Gambaro in my Netscape InBox
Thu, 04 Jun 1998 16:28 Subject: IDIOTS from Rex Baker
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